Absent Minded, but Full of Heart

It's easy for me to say words, write them, and to present in any way there possible.
But can I say that I'd be able to perform as well as I sound?

That in meaning - If I said "Okay, I'll be your girlfriend." would I be able to actually be that?
Would I be the kind of girlfriend that you wanted?
Would I be able to reach your expectations and wants?

Or, "Fine. I'll do it your way."
How long could I possibly keep that up?

Free, independent, and impeccably defiant.
I'm not being narcissistic, but it's how I am.
I also don't like doing what most couples do.
I'm afraid of being touched in an intimate way. I'm afraid of kisses on the lips.

And only one person had been able to change that.
But for that one person alone.
And I haven't found another one like him.

But I have my own crushes.
On virtually almost every single guy I meet.
But I'm no flirt.
If he has someone, then he's off my record.
But the others remain, and even though I'd openly say, "I like you."

It could never become any more than that.
NEVER.

I can't explain myself, because not even I understand myself all that well.
Especially when I can settle for being 2nd.
Especially when I've never truly fought for anything.

If I had to illustrate my mind, it would be a large TV with over a thousand different little sections put out on a million channels playing at the same time, but one would enlarge - then change to another one. It would be on forever, and at random.

If I had to illustrate my heart...
It would be a pitch black room with a single poor soul inside holding a forever burning lamp - who ran from wall to wall constantly to read the tiny little words written on the walls set in a random pattern to figure out just what it all meant.

I'm filled with indecision and a submissive will.

I'm a terror with a spoon.
I make things complicated for myself in order to understand something.

Now.
Allow me to wonder if I could be anything more than what I am.
And if I could possibly be someone to another person other than some-other.

I feel that I can't.

Wowza~

It's been awhile, hasn't it?
Haha, I blame the weather, my lack of net, and my uber short attention span and immense hate of boredom.

In truth, I find this a chore, but oddly addicting in some weird nonsensical way.

It's like Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, or something other but similar that people use to occupy themselves while time flies-

Without doing much of anything but type, move the mouse, or smile every now and then.

Realization makes it all pretty boring-

But it's hard to care when it gives you something 'interesting to do.'

Nyeh~ I can't keep criticizing myself so...
I'm out
=^w^=

Riiiight...

So, though it may surprise some, I DO ride a jeep, and often.
And when I do, I never fail to see someone interesting (and not 'I think he's hot' kind).

There was a time when this woman, possibly in her late 40's early 50's was sitting across from me, and during her entire ride, she just smiled sweetly.
And when she got off she made a face that looked like she had just stepped knee deep in some real stinky shit.

Odd and funny and the same time.

Another time, I was wearing a kind of gothic grunge sorta outfit, and this rocker emo guy, tall and kinda cute gets on - and for the entire ride he keeps shooting looks at me.
I'm glad I was wearing my dark lenses so he couldn't see that I knew he was looking at me.
I mean, what was he expecting?
Did he want me to suddenly relate to him, talk about our similarites??

Did he even speak English?????

No, that's going too far.
Most of everyone speaks English, maybe not perfectly, but coherently...



... And my attention's too short to continue this. Maybe another time, =P

Forever a Child's Inspiration!

Dr. Seuss, cartoonist, author, and forever the man who wrote my very first cookbook, Green Eggs and Ham! (It's by food coloring. Not rot.)

Some of you might not know his books, but the movies inspired by his books, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, The Cat in the Hat, and the animation, (which I just watched three minutes ago, )Horton Hears a Who!

And that's what Imma blog about at the moment, Horton Hears a Who!

Of course, I'm sure most of all who haven't watched the movie are thinking, "Oh, you mean that kiddie cartoon with the elephant??"

Horton Hears a Who! is NOT KIDDIE.

It isn't like SpongeBob kiddie.

And the funny thing?
They BOTH USE THE WORD BOOB!

Man, I can't believe I even mentioned SpongeBob here. And I HATE SPONGEBOB-
But I love Horton Hears a Who!

Why?
Because it's an animation that talks about real family life in a funny family way that had me on the floor in tears-

Because I couldn't stop laughing!

It's that funny,
It's that good of a movie-
And it's something I WOULD NOT MIND WATCHING A HUNDRED TIMES!!!

And that's saying something, because I HATE repeats.

WHO ELSE IS ON STARMOVIES?!
WATCH AWAKE WITH ME!

I am so hyped up, even my mom is having fun~
And she don't do that often with movies.


... Unless you got a movie with Van Damme in it.
She is to Van Damme as I am to Vin Diesel.
HFMoS! (Holy Frikkin' Mother of Sneeze!)

They're both VD, O.o

Woo~!

Aw crap.
Momi turned on the news.

And my life starts to become boring once again...

=^w^=
I'm out~

Dyes, dyes, dyes!

SO, to explain my lack of update-

Yay!
Cheering!
No more exams or classes (for awhile)!

My only complaint... We didn't have a break after exams!

Right after the last three exams we went straight to cheering practices! I mean, seriously, give us a break!

Seniors might not even be ab;e to have the three day + weekend break b/c of the NCAE test!

What. The. Frikkin. Crap. Mahn.

Oh sure, the cheers are fun and all, and the dancing's a blast-

But can a person really function well when they're half-dead from stress and unrest??????

CAN I HAVE A BOX OF SUGAR AND A CASE OF RED BULL PLEASE?!

No, really, exams and then Sportsfest right after, and then NCAE immediately after that?!

C'mon!

Nya~ I'm too tired to rant on anything else na... xP!

Just... Great...

Right, so, it's the very first day of exams and I find that I can't find my phone!
OF ALL THINGS!

Can't call it, it's dead. Can't find it... Wtfh?!

The world should ban pants with small pockets, I'm serious, b/c what other flippin use are they for if not to hold a phone properly?!

Anyways... There goes another dollie... It was even shaped as a black and white guitar!
T,T

Imma miss that the most...

I thought the chicken was a cat!

Sunday mornin' rain is fallin'...

I love that song, =^w^=!

Haha, so, after church, Momi decided to make something new for food today (can't say lunch and I can't say dinner, and I"m not all fond for saying linner-) and I really don't know what it is. I doubt she knows what it is either~ But we bought some loaves of French Bread, ground meat, a LOT of Italian tomato sauce,mayonnaise, and... We totally missed out on the Mozzarella cheese because SM was out.

But we also got a bottle of Sparkling Grape juice - Looks like wine but it's just carbonated grape juice - and we almost didn't get it.

I wanted the apple. She wanted grape. She decided to leave, and I got the grape so that we'd at least have something.

And man am I excited on drinking it!
No, I'm not an alcoholic. No, I do not like alcoholic beverages. And yes, I have a high level of tolerance when it comes to drinking alcohol, but I just hate the stuff =YECH!=

But anyways, I guess today was just another awesome grocery shopping experience with Momi. We're weird when we shop, and most of the time people look at us, but oh well-

I know, deep inside, Momi likes the attention, haha!!

Oh, and btw, THERE IS NO TACO BELL AT JOHN HAY!

I don't remember who told me that there might be one there, but yeah, there isn't...
So sad...!!